Definitely not pride
by checkforirrationality
Summary: My life has been pushed to the utter edge of horrible, my days spent getting mercilessly beaten by my father, pain is my only escape...I'm a nobody at school, but this one kid, Tommy, seems to have taken interest in me, never have i know kindness before, Maybe i could do something more with that little push. Beat my demons? Rated M for horror and sexual content, ADOMMY/LAMBIFF(mxm)
1. new kid

**This is my first adommy fanfic PLUS a darker story so i hope you like it i guess, PLEASE RATE! thank you! and if you like saulbert too i'm going to make one later when i get around to it, well enjoy my lovelys. btw this is yaoi AKA boyxboy don't like? I suggest you exit this story unless your a little curious3 LOL**

**Disclaimer- I OWN NOTHING OF THESE VERY BEAUTIFUL BOYS, no matter how much I want to own Tommy Joe's sexy no booty and Adams very aluring sexiness I can't all i own is this story vvdown there! and i really wish i could meet their families just to thank them for having these amazing people. kay thanks read on! **

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**TOMMY POV**

I'm stuck in an alternate universe, I hate this new town, I hate this new house, and I hate everything about this place. Apparently my parents though I was too happy with my old life, I had a girlfriend, I had friends that loved me, I had a band, it was perfect, but of course nothing ever works out my way no matter how much I want it to.

However much I want to blame my parents, I can't, my dad got a promotion, a good one, and now he's the head manager with a brand new car, and an over the top house, plus that extra doting family minus myself obviously.

He just doesn't understand how I felt and still feel about it, sure everything is nice, I even have my own car now, and him and mom are incredibly happy, so I can't be mad…They aren't bad parents either it just fucking sucks. I want to go back to Burbank, but noooo I can't, I'm stuck in San Di-fucking-ego. Maybe I'm just sour because I left possibly the hottest sweetest girl in the world behind…

I glared out the tinted windows of my brand new Mercedes where a completely ordinary school sat in my line of vision, skewering my brand new car feeling. I pulled into the parking lot and just sat there pouting like a two year old; I didn't want to go in there.

"Alright, it can't be that bad, I'm sure I'll end up loving the school…fuck I don't want to go in there"

Groaning inwardly I opened the door slung my backpack over my shoulder and dragged my heels through the rocky parking lot. I popped in my headphones and tuned out the world as I strode towards the office for my schedule, passing by billions of clones, _was this school seriously that stereotypical? _All the girls had strawberry blonde hair with that those curves that made you drool; they were pretty cute but all looked like the type of girl that would cheat on you by lunch time. Oh the guys, good fucking god, all jocks, _are you fucking kidding me, _I can already tell you we won't be getting along to well. There were some normal kids, but most just looked like the typical high-school you see in movies with that stupid food chain of who is the most popular and who's not. Oh this'll be fun.

I stepped up to the front desk in the office, yanking out my headphones and waited for the woman to get off the phone so I could speak. The lady, , looked like a leather bag, definitely a smoker, probably done drugs earlier in life, with gray hair was fluffed on top of her head with a canary yellow hair band holding her bangs, Her eyes were a dark brown behind thick glasses, wearing a floral violet shirt that completed her 'stuck in the wrong generation' look.

"Yes…..this is-…..okay…okay…..alright….until then," her dark eyes nervously flickered towards me, noticing my presence; she hung up the phone and gave me her full attention.

"I'm the transfer student, Tommy Ratliff; I'm here to pick up my schedule,"

"Oh! You're Mr. Ratliff, alright here you go." She handed me the paper and shooed me away after explaining the rules and other bullshit.

I stared down at the paper in my hands with disgust, as I dodged the constant flow of students, huffing again I looked up from the paper just in time to bump into some kids chest, I glowered up at him with darkest death glare that could put the toughest guy running with his nose hung low.

It pissed me off more that not only did he run into me but he was like 5ft taller than me too, I know I'm short it irks me already, but it's like this kid bumped into me on purpose just to rub his tall assness in my face. I'm tired of everything and it's not even 1st period…great, just fucking great.

I knocked him to the side and before I walked on I got a glimpse of vibrant ocean eyes swimming with pain. Confused I stomped down the hallway in no direction in particular and almost immediately regretting it, where the hell was I now?

"FUCK YES!" I exclaimed as I finally found the stupid doorway that had 11th grade physics written in print on a sheet of paper taped to the door.

The teacher was taking FOREVER, I've been standing here for about 5 minutes already and the bell already rang! _Why won't he look up from the stupid paper he was writing_? I'm not a very patient man, to be exact I'm not patient at all I have the attention span of a two year old and I'm stubborn, amazing combination isn't it?

The teacher finally looked up and I wanted nothing more than to punch him in the face, his eyes annoyed the fuck out of me. This was my first period? _Fucking hell_.

"And you are?"

"I'm Tommy Rat-"

"Maybe I should rephrase that, why are you here," _That was not a question, that was a fucking demand_.

"I'm the transfer stud-"

"Go sit in the back, I don't have time for this right now, we'll talk after class,"

_Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you_, My anger boiled and I felt my face heat from rage, NOT ONLY is this guy a complete jerk he also blatantly ignored me, fucking prick. The only thing I hate more than being so short is being overlooked like I'm not even worth someone's precious fucking time, I CAN'T fight now, that would be the fourth time to be expelled in the last couple months and I already get enough grief from my mom.

My hands were still locked together in a tight fist in my lap, curling and uncurling from anger, I started fiddling with the ring my grandmother gave me before she passed to get my mind off that fucking shit of a stupid teacher.

Mr. I don't fucking know started the lesson about some shit I didn't even remember, droning on and on about nothing, I stared out the window, eyes dead, at the pouring rain. I had half a mind to pop my headphones in again, but I don't know this teachers rules and I certainly don't feel like paying the prick money to get it back when I still wanted nothing more than to shove my foot so far up his ass he wouldn't be walking for an extremely long time.

The door to the bleak classroom creaked open slowly and I saw messy red hair makes its way to a desk by the back of the room. The kid sat down but not before I got a good look at him his hair reminded me of a vegetable. Carrot top wore a black shirt with a black overcoat, worn dark jeans covered in holes, old black sneakers, and his necklace that he wore, I couldn't see very well from where I was but it was silver and was wiry. He had black eyeliner and had gloves on his hands, he had SO MANY freckles covering his face, but one thing struck me as odd, his eyes, they were a brilliant blue and so familiar.

Overall he was really creepy but I mean he would look kind of cute if he smiled! He just looked so miserable, sure it was school but you would think someone was holding a knife to his throat! I don't really know if I want to mix up with him but I needed a friend and kind of wanted to see what he looked like when he smiled.

I watched the rain drizzle down the roof and onto the mudding dirt outside, thinking about those blue eyes, _why were they so familiar, _I just don't get it. His eyes, so blue, like swirling oceans, oceans…_oceans_

"OCEANS!" I declared loudly with a look of complete victory wrapping its way around my head, until I saw everyone in class giving me odd looks I flushed and initially decided the desk was very interesting.

"Excuse you," Mr. I'm a fucking prick gave me an accusing stare, which I ignored,

"EXCUSE you," His dull voice was giving me a headache as he spoke again,

"What need something?"

His face reddened and he frowned, "Detention,"

My mood darkened as I grumbled out the window, _nothing I could do about it_, but at least I figured one thing out! Smiling to myself I remember my exclamation earlier and thought about those very blue eyes and that face I wanted to punch in the face earlier. Whenever I think of those eyes…. _I'm not completing that sentence._

Before the class continued Mr. Fuckface strolled over to carrot top and started whispering quietly, his blue eyes widened in fear, making me wonder just what scared him so much. When the teacher walked off he looked at carrot top one more time and spoke,

"Detention Adam, and if you don't come like you happened to miss last time I'll call your parents and make sure you're not allowed to even utter a word, " That sounded violent, and carrot top, or Adam, gulped audibly and staring down.

The bell rang leaving me to talk to the teacher about my transfer, when I was done I was about to walk out when I saw Adam talking to the teacher his eyes wide. Confused I waited outside the door to talk to him, ask about detention, and maybe make a friend.

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**Yet again please rate, lol 3 **


	2. my pain

**Hi guys! sorry i didn't upload as fast as i did the other fanfic, i've been with family for the past 2 weeks so it was kind of hard! But now i'm back and this chapter is kind of rough, i hope ya'll like it! :DD oh and if your wondering what song adam is singing later in the chapter it's family portrait by Pink, you should listen to it, it never fails to make a mood really melancholy! oh and during the whole first half i listened to get scared, so if you want to be perfect or something i guess, haha well review and everything, enjoy my lovelys:)**

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**ADAM POV**

I hate physics, so much, not only because the teacher is a friend of my parents, but because now I have that new guy in my class! I accidentally bumped into him in the hallway and all of the sudden he hates me, that glare holy hell, he made it seem like I had shot him or something!

I sat in pain for the next 30 minutes, after getting hit in the hallway like that, I think it opened some wounds, I could hardly breathe. Even Mr. chastely threated to tell my parents, I don't know what I'm going to do, he's my parent's friends and he _knows_ and he even _helps_.

I don't even want to call them parents_, they're monsters._

_I'm going to get it when I get home…_

The rest of the class blurred, near tears, I stared at the wall and hoped they wouldn't spill over my eyes, I can't do this now, I can't cry, ever.

The bell rang and I saw the new kid in more detail, he had blonde hair and it spilled over his right eye and ended right below deep chocolate and he wore a gray shirt with a blue stripped jacket, blue skinnies, vans, with a very boyish voice. That's it, its official, he's freaking adorable, FUCK, I can't like him, he hates me… and he'll probably be disgusted that a fag likes him.

Once he walked away I ambled over to the desk and waited for him to speak.

"Why do you insist on being late to my class Adam?"

"I have to walk to school, sir,"

"I texted your parents Adam, they aren't happy," I flinched at the thought of going home today.

"I-I'm sorry,"

"Don't apologize, I'm taking you home today, be in my class after school," _no, please don't, NO._

"Leave." He spat.

I rushed out of the class as fast as I could, and ended up pushing the new kid down, again, _FUCK_. He looked up and held out his arm, confused I stared at it and cocked my head to the side, and grimaced at the shooting pain that flashed through my body.

"Well?" he shook his arm, finally catching on I pull him up, only to wince again, _fuck._ I trudged away as soon as he was up but he chased after me and stopped me.

"Hi, I'm Tommy Joe, I was wondering if you would show me around? Or at least to my next class..?"

"Please,"

Not trusting my voice I just nodded weakly, why was the new kid that hates me talking to me? Why not one of the jerks, he looks like he would fit in with them perfectly, like seriously why?

He talked animatedly about his life and everything else around it and I found out that he just moved here but back home he had "a sexy babe" for a girlfriend,_ yep totally straight_, his dad got a promotion in his job and is now a manager or something, and that he plays the guitar and bass.

Too bad he's completely straight as a line; I'm about as straight as a circular, glittery, rainbow.

We reached his class and he entered, waving goodbye to me, I stared at nothing as the day dragged on, he was the only person that has ever talked to me and not been disgusted with how I look or judged me and called me a fag right off the bat. Needless to say, I kind of liked this kid, but I don't want him near me, anything that gets near me ends up dead or hurt.

_I don't need anybody, never._

The last class of the day finally ended when the bell rang and I was instantly terrified, I didn't want to go near Mr. chastely, I don't even want to think about how many times he's…_don't think about it, it just makes it worse._

I stepped down the hall hoping someone killed me here, that would be nice, to die, I wanted to die, but it would only please everyone in this stupid black and white town.

My shirt being pulled on by the sleeve caught me from my deathly thoughts and I looked up to see Tommy Joe smiling, then his lips started moving, shit he's talking.

"-And I thought it might be fun, what do you say?"

"What? I croaked

"I asked if you wanted to go to a smoothie place down the street, my treat." He smiled again

"Oh, I can't, sorry, I need to get home, maybe some other time."

I can't hang out with him, I can't even know him, because then he will know, and then I will ruin his life, I just can't.

"Come on, I owe you for showing me around, and I need a friend, so what do you say?"

_Shit_

"Um, s-sure,"

"Dude, no need to stutter, I don't bite," and he winked at me, he fucking _winked_, oh hell.

"Well I need to go…"

"Okay, But tomorrow for sure, and no weaseling out!"

When I got in Mr. chastely's classroom I was shaking, I regarded him with anxiety, and stood in the doorway waiting for him to grab his car keys.

He led the way to his car and hoped in and waited for me as I dragged myself inside the car and sat as far away from him as possible, he gazed at me and pulled out of the parking lot riding down the street.

Creeping in a shadow filled lot, I looked in my peripheral to see what he was doing, horror fired up my spine as I saw lust glaze his bleak eyes. He turned the car off and yanked me to the back, and all I could think to do to fight back was try for some punches but all that succeeds in is opening my wounds for the second time today, I tried pushing, but of course nothing ever works, he's much stronger than me.

He ripped off my shirt as I screamed and shoved, he forced his mouth on mine, and dragged his hand down my chest, the repulsive feel of his coarse hands touching me was enough to make me vomit, and I gagged and turned away from him.

"Come on BITCH, don't be shy, we've done this before, why do you constantly fight me on this? I could call you parents you, but you wouldn't like that would you? You little slut" He hissed in my ear.

I sobbed as he dragged his revolting hand over my nipple, pushing into my stomach and gripping the rim of my jeans, and started unbuttoning the layer of clothing. I felt his erection demand attention from my thigh as he tongued my neck, sucking and biting, but it didn't feel good, it felt like somebody had an iron and was pressing it to my body.

He was rubbing himself against me, licking down my body, hands in my pants, violating me, making me want to retch, and all of this goes back to my parents. Why hadn't they just left me on someone's door step, why hadn't I even been born, why couldn't I have died before I became any older than 8 years, that's when the horror started, the fights, the alcohol, the_ fucking fear_ that attached itself to my every sting of life that seemed to thread itself straight to me, leading the fucking terror straight to my heart.

Three fingers felt around my opening, bringing me back to reality, feeling around before thrusting in and roughly probing my insides. He forced my pants down the rest of the way, yanking off his as well, jerking his grimy fingers out, but before relief came he shoved them down my throat, gagging me and making me taste myself and blood.

I choked and spun over letting bile erupt from my throat ripping at my insides on its way out, leaving the fresh sting as the car smelt of vomit.

"You little fucking bitch, this car was fucking new," He hauled me upward and slapped my face hard, probably left a mark, but I didn't care at this point, all I wanted was out.

I whimpered as I got flipped back over and felt him at my entrance, he nudged me moaning loud, fondling my sex, he kissed the back of my neck and licked my back, leaving me nauseating shivers.

Agony shot through me as he thrust all in once leaving me with no pleasure, never pleasure, only pain, always pain. Even if he was gentle or sweet, I would never love him, hell I couldn't even find myself to like him, and I fear him, _so much_.

In nothing but torture I moved like a ragdoll, my head hit the back door of the car with ever thrust he shoved into me, making me screech from misery, his hands thick and slimy groping my body, pinching my nipples, yanking on my member, finger nails scrapping down my skin, the tongue, that of a cats dragging down my back up my neck.

Panting he shoved his sex into me, discomfort and agony coursing through my veins, with every pump of his hand, ever thrust of his cock, ever drag of his tongue pushing me farther and farther past just wanting to die, I _craved_ death now.

Tears streaked my cheeks as he emptied himself inside of me, his dirty talk circling my mind as I wanted death to come and take me, maybe hell is better than this, because I can almost guarantee that I'm not getting into any kind of nirvana or heaven.

He pulled out and yanked on his clothes, hopped in the front seat and left me in the bad, eyes dead, body covered in filthy cum, I was completely miserable. We pulled in front of my house and all I could think about was how unhappy I was.

I tugged myself upward, pulled on my clothes and limped to the house.

I opened the door and almost silently walked inside, hiding my limp, though I probably smelled like sex, it wouldn't surprise me if my parents thought I forced myself on my 'respected' teacher and family friend, they've actually been told that by him.

_Almost to the stairs,_ I reached the first step when I felt a hand grab the back of my coat and shove me to the wall.

"Your late _fag_, what were you doing huh? Fucking your fag boyfriend?"

"N-n-no," I choked out,

"You disgust me! Why don't you just die already you fucking fag, it's not like anybody will miss you, your NOTHING!"

The first punch is always the worst, and I felt that square in the jaw, maybe dear daddy stopped caring about the public, it's not like anyone looks at me with anything other than loathing anyways, nobody cares, they would probably think I just got beat up, maybe want to join in on the _fun._

Fist after fist rammed into me, making stars pop behind my eyes.

He yanked me higher up the wall, slamming my head against the light, he threw me to the floor, grabbed a vodka bottle and slammed it into my head repeatedly, Eber wrenched my arm up and threw me across the room and seized my neck, and squeezed.

He dropped me and kicked my stomach, I felt ribs break, with tears yanking at my eyes, I swallowed my pain and with everything I had to shove down my pain to stand and stood, wobbling on my feet and walked up the stairs as soon as he seemed down with his _little fit_.

"Get the fuck to your room you fucking fag,"

I crawled up the stairs and dropped myself on the lone mattress and cradled my wounds, maybe it'll come this time, as black reached across my vision, blurring it I sang, doing the one thing that made me feel free I sang my feelings. singing softly, sadly, my voice thick with tears and pain, but I sang anyway, I sang my hurt, my pain, my agony, my feelings of everything before the beatings, before the rape, before my mom was murdered, before my dad took everything to his own hands.

_Momma please stop cryin' I can't stand the sound, your pain is painful and it's tearin' me down_

_I hear glasses breaking as I sit up in my bed, I told dad you didn't mean those nasty things you said_

_You fight about money, 'bout me and my brother and this I come home to, this is my shelter_

_It ain't easy growin' up in world war 3 never knowing what love could be, you'll see, I don't want love to destroy me like it has done my family_

_Can we work it out? Can we be a family? I promise I'll be better, mommy I'll do anything, can we work it out? Can we be a family, I promise I'll be better, daddy please don't leave_

_Daddy please stop yelling, I can't stand the sound, make mama stop crying cause I need you around_

_My momma she loves you, no matter what she said it's true, I know that she hurt you, but remember I love you too_

_I ran away today, ran away from the noise, ran away, don't wanna go back to that place, but don't have no choice no way._

My voice died slowly as the dark rushed over my lids, I blacked out, listening to the rest of the song flow through my head, thinking of how much it displays everything before my parents split, before everything went bad. Then it went blank, I was out, with high hopes of maybe dying, maybe staying dead, gone.

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**I HOPE YOU LIKE! and if you want my story to go a certain way, you could message me about some ideas because i don't know, you might have a better idea than me:)) so throw it out there and review! THANKS baibai~**


	3. dark surprises

**Okay so yeah another chapter...i have nothing really to say today so enjoy my lovelys3**

**Anchor and Terrible Things both songs by Mayday Parade kind of set the mood so feel free to listen to them while you read!**

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**TOMMY POV**

I arrived home after my first day of school, and to be honest, it wasn't much fun, I mean the only person who bothered to talk to me was this red headed kid whose name I still don't know.

Although I just met him, I'm kind of determined to take him out for a smoothie because he was the only person that actually gave me the time of day, even though he kind of ran away when I tried to talk to him after school…

He was interesting, and I needed a friend so why not the freaky emo kid? That's always fun, maybe we could be great friends or we could end up hating each other, either way, it'll be interesting.

I stepped into my room after promptly ignoring my parents, because first of all I didn't want to listen to their voices, second of all I'm still peeved.

Music blasted in my ears as I sat down and started thinking about my day, after getting out of physics I was kind of mad the rest of the day but all the other teachers were nice enough so it wasn't too bad. Done with my internal thoughts I picked up my guitar and let loose.

**THE NEXT DAY **(In the SpongeBob narrator voice) hehe (x

I pulled my car into the parking lot yet again and dreaded the day _yet again_, but this time I'm taking carrot top for smoothies and I will actually know his name.

I entered the classroom with my normal ease, looked around for bright red hair, obviously displeased that I couldn't find him, I sat in my chair pouting until I saw him show up.

Examining him closer I saw bruises lining his jaw and he limped, badly, _what in the hell happened?_ His eyes were bloodshot and overall looked like he got his by a car. It kind of worried me, did he fall down some stairs or something, _I hope not…_

The lesson went by slowly, same as yesterday, though I didn't really notice it as much considering my mind was spinning as to what in the actual fuck happened to him. I decided I would ask him later, when we were more comfortable together because I remember when I went to school with a broken arm and thousands of people were asking me what happened and all I wanted to do was punch them, and I don't want to be punched so later.

The class ended with my thoughts in a knot, I hoped up from my seat quickly and stopped him from standing. "Name now," I demanded, he furrowed his eyebrows and tilted his head to the side.

"What's your name?"

"It's Adam,"

"Oh, ok are we still up for smoothies?" I grinned widely

"Um, I don't know…"

"Please? I still don't have a friend and you're the only person that talked to the 'new kid' so I would like to try and make friends while I can until I'm that _weirdo_ who doesn't talk to anyone," Adam flinched as if I had slapped him.

"Um, Sure I guess…Let me ask,"

"I'll meet you outside this class ok?" I skipped away before he could say something and headed to my next class.

The rest of the day blurred together, it being because I was so excited to actually have someone to talk to. I leaned against the cracked door way and waited, though I didn't have to wait long, I heard Adam's voice in a matter of seconds, behind the door.

Leaning closer I eavesdropped on their conversation; _I can't help it if I'm nosy_.

"-Any of your business."

"It is my business, because your parents put me in charge of taking you home,"

"No, I don't need a ride home today I'll walk, just let me leave,"

"Oh I see, is it about the new guy? I saw him talking to you, maybe you have a crush?"

"This isn't about him, just let me leave," Adam's voice sounded gritty like he was talking through his teeth, after hearing some rustling, Adam spoke again.

"What are you doing?!"

"Nothing," Mr. Whatshisface's voice came muffled, more movement, then Adam burst through the door way. He has managed to knock me down on my ass at least 3 times in two days, _are you kidding me?_

He looked scared for mere seconds before the emotion was wiped clean from his face. Only surprise was left as he helped me to my feet, "still up for smoothies?" I offered, "Um, sure." With a glance back at the classroom he followed me out the school.

Completely forgetting what happened minutes ago I filled the silence with mindless chatter like asking questions about his life, him, his family, and friends, but each time he swiftly dodged and changed the topic each time. For the whole 10 minutes in the car, and all the questions I asked all I knew about him was his name and favorite color, fucking perfect.

We arrived at the smoothie place only to find out that it was closed, on a Wednesday, _really?_

"Seriously? Ugh ok, what do you want to do? Want to just come to my house for a little bit, I can take you home." I sighed and watched as Adam mentally debated,

"Um…I don't know, I-I think I should head home…" Adam stuttered over his words and looked out the car window. "No I want to hang out with you." I stubbornly added, I put the car in gear and it lurched forward towards my house.

He just nodded in surrender and stared out the window obviously not wanting to speak, so we drove in silence. Though it wasn't all that uncomfortable, it was somewhat peaceful, the low sound of music flowed through the car.

I hummed softly to the melody, I wasn't a great singer, but I knew what tune was and some people sadly did not.

We pulled into the driveway of my house and I hoped out of the car and walked up the sidewalk and waited for him to catch up to me at the door.

Suddenly nervous of what my family would think of this very _dark friend_ that I have made, I didn't want to throw labels at him because, I personally hated them and anything judgmental, but I met the kid yesterday and my family was…different.

"Are you...erm sure I can come over?" You sounded so shy it was somewhat cute. Wait…What? Did I really just say that Adam sounded _cute?_

"Yeah…" I spoke distantly, for the first time I a VERY straight person had called another male cute. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with gays, I mean I know when some men are attractive and I have had guys come on to me before but that was mostly because I was one of the only guys that actually cared about their appearance.

"Um okay," He followed close behind me as I passed the kitchen looking around, _yes they aren't home_ then walked upstairs, which, for the record was all mine now, because of "daddy's" new job.

I lead us up to my room, it was fairly big, but it's not like it mattered I had the whole top floor to myself, it had white walls and black furniture, band posters littered the walls, and I had a queen bed by a giant window, with some unpacked boxes in the corner, it was complete.

I kind of liked my room, even though I hate the neighborhood.

"So this is my room…The whole top floor is mine you don't have to worry about being too loud, I guess."

Awe was clear in his eyes, obviously he's thinking its big, hell even I do, but it kind of normal in this area, we live in the rich part of town.

He just nodded and followed as I sat on the bed, "are you hungry?" I asked, smiling softly as to not frighten him, he looked about ready to burst out of the house.

"I guess…"

I looked at the time to see when my parents would get home, so we have about an hour, ok. "My parent's will be home in about an hour and they'll cook dinner but we can eat snacks before they get here, popcorn and a movie sound good?"

"Yeah, uh hey where's your bathroom?"

"The third door down the hall," I answered as I walked to the upstairs mini kitchen, it didn't have stuff like a pantry or anything but it had cabinets, a microwave, and a mini fridge. Just as I started the microwave for the popcorn I heard a yelp and worried and curious I walked to the bathroom.

I opened the door and walked in, only to stop dead in my tracks, what I saw was a surprised Adam at the sink with his wrist under running water.

My eyes followed down his arm to where the water hit his wrist, I sucked in air and just stared, his arm was covered in bruises and cuts, and they enveloped his thin wrists. Angry red lines swirled around in a deadly pattern, cut after cut, covering his pale skin. Purple blotches hid any clear skin left so that his probably once beautiful clear arm was now gone.

Adam whimpered while looking around he yanked the first cloth that he set his eyes on and covered his arm, wincing he shut his eyes tight and took a step back.

Eyes wide I moved closer, I lifted my hand and grasped the sleeve of his shirt to keep him from moving anymore. I shut the door behind me and stood in from of his arm, I didn't how to feel, worried? Yes. Mad? Kind of. Curious? Hell yes, what would cause Adam to harm himself?

I placed my hand on the cloth, feeling Adam shake, I sighed and pulled the once clean towel away from his shredded arm, he yelped, finally opening his eyes and watched me, silently begging me not to ask all the questions that he knew was circling around in my head.

"I won't ask any questions if you don't want me to," visibly feeling him relax I continued, "But I want you to know that you shouldn't do this, I know this is none of my business, considering we meet like two days ago, but seriously, harming yourself does nothing. I probably have no right to talk to you about this but I want to be friends with you, but I don't my friend to hurt himself for reasons I may or may not know in the future." Done with my little speech I gazed at him and waited for a reply.

"What do you know," he had shut his eyes again and was shaking again, "Your right, you have no right to talk to me about any of this, I don't need someone to _try and help me_ I don't need anyone, just because you've seen this doesn't mean I'm going to break down and start crying, probably spilling my whole life story if that's what your hoping for. I'm not weak like other people, I can and will handle everything on my own, I don't need anyone's help, let alone a friend."

Shocked, I stared at him for a long time, and then anger hit me. _Really, you want to rant and tell me you don't need anyone IN MY HOUSE? Where I kindly invited you and am making you popcorn, REALLY? When I just told you I wanted to be friends with you? Ok that's it, I'm fucking done._

"Ok here's the deal, I'm not going to be sweet, you're being an ass right now, and it's kind of pissing me off, first of all when someone offers to fucking help you, you don't just say 'you don't need anyone' let alone IN THEIR OWN HOME, second of all I see that you're a loner at school so I'm fucking offering to be your friend, not because of fucking pity but because I want to, I like you and I want to be your god damn fucking friend ok?" I huffed and glared at him, _this bitch will be my fucking friend whether he fucking knows it or not._

I grabbed the towel off the floor where it was dropped, wet it a little and started dabbing his wounds, hearing him squeak, I kept on cleaning it.

"Why are you helping me?"

"I just fucking said we are friends, and friends help each other."

"I don't need friends."

"We. Are. Fucking. Friends."

"I don't-"

"Shut the fuck up and let me clean your damn cuts."

He was silent after that, I sat him on the toilet as I fetched the first aid kit and started wrapping his arm in clean gauze. We were silent except for whimpers here and, once I finished I walked back into the mini kitchen where I had burned the popcorn_, just great_.

I walked back to the bathroom and stood in the doorway, and looked at this strange person that sat on my toilet.

"I'm sorry," his voice cracked as he spoke, I looked into his eyes, surprise evident on my features, "I shouldn't have said any of that; I was just…surprised that you saw that."

"It's fine, you don't have to apologize, I was kind of in your business anyway, well…friends? Do you still not need anyone?" I extended my arm and waited for him to either scoff and walk away or smile and shake it.

"I still don't need anyone, but I guess for now," Adam cracked a small smile for the first time ever since I've met him; he poked my hand with his finger and walked out of the bathroom.

"Cheeky little shit," I laughed and followed him to my room.

He didn't stay much longer after that, I offered to drive him home but he said he didn't live far and wanted to walk, so I agreed and watched him walk down the street.

I walked back to my room and laid down thinking about what the hell just happened, so I made friend, turns out he's very emo, though I don't know the reason, and he's also a cheeky little fucker.

I saw him smile…Adam is pretty cute, no doubt about it.

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**review :D**


	4. lets skip this

**UGH writing this chapter SUCKED, I honestly couldn't think of anything past how i ended this.-. i won't be able to write for a week or two sorry honeys...i'm going on a trip so bare with me and i'll give a reward...in my writing that is, maybe some fluff, though they are going to get together like a real couple so it's gonna be a long story(: please review and stuff^^ everytime you guys review this story a smile will not leave me face^^ so yeah enjoy my lovelys~**

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**ADAM POV**

After leaving Tommy's house feeling anxious, he knows about my _problem_ and he's ok with it…

I thought he would go running for the hills, I literally felt my heart stop when he opened that door, standing there with wrist bleeding from opened cuts when he grabbed my arm before. The pain was still evident around my body but my arms didn't hurt as bad anymore.

I have a friend, _a friend, _for the first time in 5 years I had someone close to me, for the first time in years someone didn't want to kick my ass. Though I can't completely trust him, I can't even trust him in the least I meet him two days ago.

At least he didn't want to beat my face in, like everyone else in the fucking world.

The walk to my house was terrible, I felt like someone was holding me over a burning flame. Stepping closer and closer to the hell hole I called home, it's actually kind of funny how some people said that home was were the heart was, because if that was true I didn't have a home, because my heart belonged nowhere, love was nothing to me. I truly wished with all of my might that the invisible person that was holding me would just drop me into the blazing fire.

I saw the red brick and navy shingles, shining in front of a glowing sun, from where I was down the street, terror struck me hard as I slowed my pace and thought of the possible outcomes of coming home past curfew.

I had to leave specifically because my parents had called and I happened to miss it when I was talking to Tommy in the bathroom, when I had walked back to the room I listened to the voicemail and just the sound of their voice made me shudder, etching fear into my bones.

All he had to say was 'you're past curfew get the fuck home' and I was already trembling, the tone in his voice was enough to make me break down on certain occasions, leaving me a shaking mess on the floor. He can break my body but my pride will never be touched, I will not break in front of him and I refuse to let tears fall.

Finally out of my thoughts as I stood in front of hell disguised as a loving home, you would never tell from the outside, but inside was a different story. The outside of my house was well-kept, nice even, from an outsider it looked like a tiny but happy household…but inside reeked of boozes and was covered in trash, the 'happy household' was actually a broken family, missing the loving mom and smiling brother, all that was left was a murderer of a father and a pathetic boy with nothing more than music as a solace.

I was at the door now and my knees where quivering, I pushed open the door and walked in, looked around and sprinted to my room.

Right before I entered I heard a yell from down the hall and it was getting closer fast, I slammed my door shut and locked it.

"ADAM! Open the door," My dad's voice was deadly calm, have you ever listened to people when they say silent anger is worse than loud anger, well you should because they are right. I had my back against the door and I was panting, and let my head rest, as he continued on the other side the door.

"Adam, open this fucking door right now, I not asking again,"

"Then don't."

"Sass me again you fucking fag and see what happens, when you come out again, you'll get what's coming to you, you little bitch."

"Then I won't come out,"

I heard loud pounding on the door and come muffled screams of exasperation, my heart beat quickened when I heard him walk away only to come back moments later with a key to my door lock, I knew what it was because he started fiddling with the hole.

Jumping up lightning fast I pushed my finger on the exerting lock and held my thumb there, a shaky sigh of relief made its way from my lips, knowing that as long as my thumb was blocking the turn of the lock on the knob I would be safe.

**(A/N he has the kind of door like a front door in a way with lock and key, but if on the other side you hold the lock, the other person can't get through. Had to clarify if some of you didn't get what I meant, I mean I kind of didn't understand it…but yeah?)**

Sooner or later my father gave up and walked away but not before kicking the door one last time. Thankful for this I took the time to push my desk in front of the door, in case he tried again in my sleep.

I slowly dragged my feet over to my bed striping from my clothing, leaving me in nothing but my boxers and got in, carful to mind the wounds very carefully, I softly hummed a tune I remembered mom used to sing, lulling myself to a lonely sleep.

**The next day **(SpongeBob narrator voice xD)

I woke up, and dragged myself to take a quick shower before he noticed I was awake then left for school, speed walking until the house was completely out of sight.

I reached the school doors and trudged to my first class, dreading to see Mr. Chastely again after what happened with _dad,_ probably got a call telling him how _disobedient _his son was, I'm getting into some major shit today. _Fucking yay._

I walked into the class late, as usual, the first thing I saw was a smiling Tommy, I felt my lip twitch upward for a second in return, and then looked around at the other students, all glaring at me of course.

Ignoring the immediate threat at the moment I sat down, pulled out my notebook, and started writing lyrics. I was almost peaceful until I heard a loathsome voice speaking from the front of the room, I let my gaze drift upward, not wanting to deal with his shit at all.

"I'm sorry what?" I drawled, apparently not the right thing to say because his eyes darkened with anger as he repeated his sentence again.

"I SAID that you're late again, I would like to talk to you after class,"

"Sorry, can't,"

"And why is that?"

"Why you ask? Well I've been getting complaints from Ms. Darcy by being late to her class all the time, since whatever you have to say can't be in front of the class for some reason, so by all means tell me now because I'm almost positive nobody else wants to listen to your extremely dull voice for an hour long lecture, pulease and thank you."

He was speechless for the first time ever, obviously never been insulted or embarrassed in front of the class like that, well whatever he deserved it.

Finally gaining some composition of speech his eyes narrowed and he stepped forward, trying to look menacing, but I just wasn't into it today, so all he got in return was once a frightened look and quivering knees was eyes filled to the brim with boredom and a kind of 'well' look.

"Outside my classroom now." His voice shook with rage, obviously I've pissed him off but I seriously wasn't in the mood, tomorrow I will be scared but not today, just no.

I walked outside calmly before sitting down, tilting my head back, closing my eyes, and trying for some much needed sleep. I heard the door open, assuming it was Mr. Chastely I kept my eyes closed and waited for him to strangle me or be somewhat violent, but instead of feeling hands on my neck or somewhere extremely inappropriate, I felt a soft hand rub my shoulder.

I would have been a nice jester aside from the fact that I have a killer gash in that very spot, I can thank my dad and his empty vodka bottle for that one, so thanks _daddy, I love you._

I winced and moved away slightly before opening my eyes to see Tommy's smile fall away slowly then reappear before he thought I would notice.

"Hey, what do you say we ditch school today?" Tommy offer brightened my day so much.

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**REVIEW FOR ADAM AND TOMMY3 lol..um thanks..until next time^^**


	5. so at ease

**Hi guys! I'm back..er i was back two days ago but i honestly didn't know how to do this chapter, I HOPE ITS FINE WITH YA'LL! Well the song that i had in mind for this chapter has the lyrics of what i was trying or hopefully succeeding in putting across so i will ask you to listen to it, not only cause it matches but also because this song is amazing. haha well enjoy my lovelys!**

**Blown Away- Carrie Underwood**

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TOMMY POV

I swung the door open to my room and dropped my bag by the door and strolled back to my upstairs living room where Adam sat awkwardly on the couch. I made my way towards the TV with a movie in hand, "Hey Adam, I have a movie I think you might like." Smiling I sat on the floor by the DVD player and put the movie in.

"What's it called?"

"Velvet Goldmine,"

"What's it about?"

"Don't ask, just watch," I laughed and sat on the couch beside Adam, the close proximity made me happy, it was weird, and I was just content just sitting next to him.

Like I said…weird.

Throughout the movie I moved closer and closer to him, at first I just curdled up next to him, then I rested my head on his shoulder, eventually I was almost on top of him.

By the time the movie was in the credits we were cuddling full on. I was glad that he's the type of person that doesn't judge, because back in my old town whenever I wanted to cuddle the guys looked at me funny and the girls just tried to kiss me, I'm not trying to be cocky or arrogant but I was pretty popular and at some points it sucked.

As I slowly moved from not touching him to cuddling he would tense up more and more everytime I got closer, but by the end of the movie he relaxed and once again a smile found its way onto my face.

The ending scene gave way to the credits and then they too came to an end and I knew I would have to move eventually, I mean it's a little weird to keep cuddling after the movie ends especially if we aren't even close to anything to do with romance.

I am straight and so is Adam so there was no reason to keep on trying to cuddle even if I was incredibly comfortable, damn his fluffy sweater and perfect shape.

I was about to move when I heard a quiet snore from above, I froze, _oh…that's why he relaxed, he was falling asleep, _I giggled and looked up so I could see his face, it was pretty damn difficult considering his head was resting on mine but I succeeded, and what I saw was the cutest thing ever.

Adams mouth was slightly open, and his hair covered his face more than usual, I let go of his arm and reached up to brush his hair aside, he wore his trademark black eyeliner, although smudged from rubbing too much. He looked so much younger and relaxed that he usually was, his eyebrows weren't pinched together like always, it was nice seeing him so _at ease._

Taking the time to be a little nosy and see if he cut since yesterday, I hoped he didn't, it's still not my business because it's HIS body and HIS life that I was invading in but I honestly worried about him a lot.

But as they say curiosity killed the cat.

We weren't the best of friends, hell we were barley friends, but I found out about it and he trusts me enough to not tell, or at least I hope so.

I slowly pushed up his giant sweater at the sleeve and pulled his glows down so I could see the gauze on his wrist, I pulled it apart stopping everytime I felt him move. Now his wrist was in clear view, _thank god_, I heaved a sigh of relief, he hadn't cut when he got home, they were still somewhat new but that was before I cleaned them yesterday.

Taking the time to actually look at his cuts instead of focusing on cleaning them, my eyes glided over the variety, I wanted to cry, some were deep and some were shallow, but there was a lot of scaring under them.

_What made him what to do this?_

Eyes burning with unshed tears, I placed my fingers on his wounds gently, I felt him flinch, looking up at his face I saw that his eyebrows were pushed together, he look pained, _defiantly not at ease anymore._

I brushed my fingers across them, and closed my eyes tightly as I heard a soft whimper and he jerked his head, still asleep apparently.

I yanked my hands away from him like his skin scorched mine, _I can't do this to him, _why can't I just try to help him instead of sneaking a peak, it felt so wrong.

Forgetting what even made me want to do this; I pulled his sleeve down over his gloves again and slide out from underneath him, and stumbled to the bathroom.

My head hit the wall as I slid down, the burning worsened as I closed my eyes almost begging that I didn't cry, but of course the pleas did no such thing as I felt my damp cheeks, I sobbed silently.

_Why would Adam even have to do this? _

I shoved my palms into my eyes hoping that it would stop my tears from falling.

My tears finally slowed after some time, I rose from the ground and looked in the mirror, my eyes were red rimmed, _amazing_, and my face was blotchy and red from my breakdown, _great_. I turned on the faucet and splashed cold water on my face, bringing down some of the puffiness, and grabbed a towel.

I sat on the toilet and waited for my face to return to normal, I needed to figure out why, but I needed a plan, I couldn't just force him to spill his life story. Even if I did force him and he told me I doubt he would want to hang around someone so _forceful_, but if I somehow managed to help him trust me maybe he would tell me and I could help him. I just had to figure out how, because I've known him for a couple days but I can already see that he has this brick wall, ten feet wide, blocking anyone from getting close.

Too bad for him, but I am going to break it, one way or another.

A sweet humming sound brought me back, it was so soft, so beautiful, and so full of _emotion,_ it didn't even sound real, I thought I was imagining it; I hesitantly opened the door, and stood out eyes wide and just listened to the beautiful voice.

I made my way to the living room and stood in the doorway, which luckily the couch didn't face.

It was Adam.

He was the one making this sound, he cradled his left wrist, the one I touched, and was rocking back and forth, his eyes were hidden by his messy hair but I could have sworn he was crying, silently, like how he lives his life, in silence, hiding whatever pain makes him do those horrible things to himself.

I sucked in a breathe and was frozen in place, he was now singing words that pleaded for help and expressed every emotion he was feeling, hell I could feel it, the meaning of everything behind the lyrics he sung were so intense and profound that the only thing I could do was watch in awe and horror.

I didn't understand all of it but if this was how he felt on a normal basis I just hoped that I could somehow take this pain and destroy it and leave nothing left for him to feel but happy.

Apparently I had stepped forward because he stopped moving altogether and was now staring at me with wide eyes.

"I-I-"he stuttered over words, he dropped his head down, "I-I'm so s-sorry," he got up from the couch and stood and waited for me to respond, though he still wasn't looking at me.

"No d-don't apologize, um… I should be…erm I should be sorry," I flushed.

I saw his head snap up; his eyes were red, obviously was just crying because of what I did, _great that makes two of us._

_The best of fucking friends._

"N-no" he stuttered over his words, and looked at the TV and saw the opening screen, "It ended…"

Did he really just comment on the movie when we were in such a serious mood? What the fuck?

I busted out laughing, surprising Adam from the looks of it because he jumped 5 feet in the fucking air, which only succeeds in making me laugh harder.

"W-what are you laughing at?!" he demanded, his cheeks slightly red.

_Oh my fucking god I made him fucking blush._

I had dropped to my knees because my stomach hurt so badly, he just made it so much more hilarious with anything that comes out of his mouth.

Trying to control my laugher and standing on shaky legs at the same time isn't very easy, I now had to explain to Adam why I suddenly had a giggle attack…or fit because he looked pretty damn upset that I wouldn't tell him.

"It-it's…be-because…yo-you just….you!" trying to explain while still laughing, I now realized that along with trying to explain the reason, I figured out that I don't actually have a reason, he just made it funny with being himself.

"You're laughing at me because I pointed out that the movie ended. Who does that?" the rhetorical question at the end made me giggle softly leaving nothing but a smile when it ended.

I had finally sobered up and was now looking at him with upturned lips, "You're too cute."

Adam furrowed his brows together yet again and the slight pink from before was now a distinct red, _yep that's a blush._

"You defiantly managed to change the topic quickly," I looked at him seriously before continuing, "I won't ask you what happened, but know that you CAN tell me, I won't say a word unless you tell me too."

He just nodded silently, the bob moved his hair in front of his face, so I couldn't see his expression, I can only hope that he will understand. This is defiantly not pride that I'm dealing with; this is something that goes much, much deeper, he doesn't cut with stupid reasons, nor does he not have friends because he wants to, no, _defiantly not pride_.

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**I sincerely hope you guys liked it! PLEASE REVIEW MY DARLINGS3 oh and if there are any errors in this story spelling wise i apologize. **


	6. intoxication, paranoia & a lot of things

**I AM SO SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO UPDATE! School just started and its so hectic right now, i swear I've fallen asleep right after watching a couple episodes of Criminal Minds and doing homework, so i apologize, and i think i might start my updates once a week, probably on the weekends, but you might get a weekday one, every once in a while. AND AGAIN I APOLOGIZE! Oh yeah since my obsession with CM is like really hardcore right now, i included one of the characters in this chapter so disclaimer(I don't own him) and yeah some things i thought were funny but hey its really late! Anyways no specific song for today's chapter, it was kind of rushed so i promise you the next one will be better! feel free to review, PLEASE, cause my other story i had like 5 reviews for one chapter and i post another one and BAM. no more reviews, so yeah i like reviews! ANYWHO, you can go now, read on, and enjoy my lovelys3**

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**ADAM POV**

"_Adam, Adam honey, wake up baby," the voice melodic, almost like singing a sweet lullaby so beautifully soft; I cracked open an eye before rolling over in the other direction, "Adam…" the voice more serious, more desperate. The gentle rubbing was now a quick shake, I twisted towards her, eyes still heavy from sleep and stared, "Adam we need to go, now, baby he's coming, we have enough, we can leave, please wake up!" I felt drops hit my face; wet salty tears fell from her shinning blue eyes, ones that I had inherited. Essentially waking me up and reminding me of the situation and I jumped up and grabbed my bag from under my bed and throwing on some clothes._

_After I finished getting ready, grabbing extra things that reminded me of my mom, and then waited for her by _his _doorway, she rushed out with luggage trailing behind her. I turned around just in time to see my father waiting against the front door, arms crossed over his chest. _

I coughed on tears as I shot up out of bed, hugging my chest; I bundled the sheets up and wrapped them around me, digging my head into the thin cloth. I haven't had a dream like this in almost a month, I thought they would finally go away, so I cried into the sheets, letting loose some of my pent up frustration.

My life had been so weird after I met Tommy; I was almost joyful, though happiness doesn't exist in my life. I was almost calm, my breath slow, my hiccups almost gone, and my eyes were now dry and I was about to lay back down but I heard a bang on the stairs and froze, Eber was back home.

Throat still sore from crying, I felt the ground shake as I heard heavy boots ascend the stairs, I couldn't blink, I couldn't breathe, and I couldn't run. He hadn't been back for a couple of days, I've had rest…_he can't just come back or at least not yet_, he HAS to stay away.

Please god no. not today. Tommy found out about my cuts, and he's bound to find _this_ too if I limp every god damned day. I can't deal with this today; frantically I looked around for some type of weapon, but of course, nothing. The only thing remotely close to that of a weapon is the standing lamp by my bed, but he drilled it to the floor before the beatings started. I was helpless.

The pounding on my door, the racing across the room to find shelter, and the trample of feet, and the floor that met the back of my head was all a blur as I lay on the floor gazing at the ceiling, like it might actually help me, my vision was already getting fuzzy from anticipation of the beating, and he had brought two other friends with him this time. One of them being Mr. Chastely and the other a burly black man, fucking perfect, I might as well be already dead.

I watched as they finished talking and made their way over to the floor I was pushed onto, I saw the biggest sized shoes first, probably Eber's, as they stalked over, leaving mud tracks on the dirtied floor.

"Your too loud you little bitch, why can't you just keep your mouth shut you fucking faggot, we heard you all the way in the fucking living room." He spat on my face and the rotten smell of beer and cigarettes hit my nose, making me gag.

"Eber…we barely heard him, its fine, let's hit some bars, come on..." The hulking black guy with a bald head and a very intimidating mustache spoke softly but firmly, "Derek you better shut your mouth or I'll kill you too," _he plans to kill me? Oh god._

"Eber I am in the FBI and you expect me to stand around while you beat your own child?" His voice was full of warning, I was almost happy; someone was standing up for me, maybe. I whipped off my face and walked calmly towards the bathroom, but of course I didn't make it, I crashed to the ground with the feel of glass being smashed into the back of my head, landing on shards I pushed myself to a sitting position, probably bleeding in random places now because of him. Of course he won't help me though; he'll never stop, until I'm dead.

"HEY!" Derek's voice boomed, I heard quick movement and the sound of handcuffs being clicked, I would have cried of actual joy minus the fact that the person in chains was indeed the supposed cop. FUCK.

I glared at my father for all that he was worth, he glowered back like I was a bad piece of meat, which I probably was, I'm gay, I'm not normal, of course I'm trash.

"Hey Eber, I am your friend but I will not condone you for beating your child,"

"Just fucking shut it, ok? Marshall,"

The sound of skin meting skin sounded through the room and I was about to do the one thing that could possibly get me killed for sure, "Hey! Why are you beating on him? I was the loud one." He didn't need to get beaten, probably had a family, a beautiful wife and wonderful kids, he doesn't need to come home with scars or anything else of that matter. Me on the other hand, I'll be dead before I'm out of high school _why postpone the inevitable_?

His head whipped towards my voice and Mr. Chastely stopped beating on Derek, exactly how I wanted, "Why beat on him? I mean I'm the gay one, not him, I'm the _freak_," I spat the words out like they burned my tongue. They did. He darted over, landing punch after punch on anywhere but my face. The brick hard fists slammed into my already broken ribs, landing on my stomach, smashing into my neck, leaving me hacking up blood. There was nothing else I could do other than lay there and take it, I was too far gone, nothing could help me now, and if I tried to fight back I would die. The last punch he threw landed on my face and after he held me up by my neck, choking me, making me realize only now that there was yelling behind Eber.

"EBER! YOU GET YOUR DAMN HANDS OFF THAT BOY! I SWEAR TO GOD WHEN I'M OUT OF THESE CUFFS I WILL SECURE YOUR ASS IN JAIL! EBER!" I had to give him credit, for me to even hear him at all was a surprise; usually I could block everything out. The pain dulled my senses to the world so it was a miracle I was hearing at all.

I was dropped to the floor as I heard more footsteps approach, Mr. Chastely's, _oh god no,_ I could deal with the beatings, but the rape. The belt crashed to the floor as he shifted closer, I could see the bulge in his jeans already, and I was terrified.

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**I'M STILL SORRY:( **

**well review please and thanks!**


	7. Help me forget tomorrow

**OH MY GOD! I AM SO SORRY! GOSH PLEASE FORGIVE ME! OH MY! SORRY!:(**

**Um yeah, i just started school so everything was extremely hectic, especially when i have like 4 projects due in 3 days, AND AGAIN I AM SO SORRY! PLEASE REVIEW! and again i am so sorry...forgive me please, this story wouldn't even be continued without you guys so please keep dedicating yourselfs to keep reading this3**

**No song of the chapter, just put something sexy on;)**

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**TOMMY POV**

It was Saturday night and there was nothing to do, I would call Adam but I don't know his number and I would call other people but honestly, I just wanted to hang out with him, nobody else. After he left the other day, I ended up watching a marathon of movies with my mind wandering elsewhere, but a certain pair of crystal blue eyes would flash through my thoughts every couple of minutes. Leaving me wandering why I was thinking of him so much.

My eyes drooped as I felt exhaustion take over, I had to babysit 12 little kids for my aunts wedding, what a fucking blast that was. I fell onto the couch with a plop and turned on a random horror movie, loud moaning along with groans came from the TV, I turned over to see a couple having hardcore sex right before they are murdered by the killer that happened to be hiding in the closet watching them, waiting for the right moment to strike.

_I heard a low growl as I leaned down, licking my lips and trailed a line of kisses from his pale jaw to his neck. I sucked, bit, and licked my way lower and flicked his nipple with my tongue, while nibbling softly on the hardened bud. Dragging my hands down his sides, gripping his waist, I ground our hips together, feeling the sweet friction of our hardened members rubbing together. _

_I gasped at the touch and arched my back, whimpering softly, my heart was beating erratically and hearing his husky moans was almost enough to push me over the edge._

_I felt my pants tighten and palmed the bulge, as I dragged my tongue up his sweaty chest and tasted the sex on his skin, my eyes rolled back in my head at the taste alone. When I finally reached his lips, I licked the swollen candy and shoved my tongue in his mouth, pulling him in for a dirty kiss, tongues rubbing together, saliva mixing, the smell of our arousals filling the air; I have never been this hard before._

_Threading my fingers through the thick black mane and yanked hard, earning a growl to rip from his throat, leaving me breathless with the sound alone. He pulled my head up from the kiss and caressed my cheek and looking at me with glazed over lust filled eyes that always managed to make me tremble. _

"_Tommy, glitterbaby, turn over, I'm going to make you forget tomorrow," He purred, I begrudgingly got off him, and pulled him over me._

_He wrenched my skin tight pants off and threw them to the floor, I felt relieved as the restriction was now gone, I had been wanting to try going commando, and the one time I did, we get sexual, right the fuck on._

_I practically screamed when his hand glided along the underside of my pulsing manhood, immense pleasure came over me when I felt his lips touch the tip, waiting for that talented muscle to exit his mouth and cover me in his wet cavern. A wail left my open lips when he engulfed me, pressing his tongue over the tip and dragging it along the underside of my cock. _

_My hands flew to his head and pushed hard, I hadn't wanted to choke him, but it was almost impossible to completely a sentence let alone comprehend a thought. _

"_Ahh! A-ADA-"My voice broke midway with a gurgled moan, when he went deeper and hummed; he went even deeper and swallowed, encasing me inside his tightened mouth. OH GOD. I looked down to see smoldering blue eyes, that shinned with love and yearning and desire, that gazed back at me from my cock with his mouth still over it. SO FUCKING HOT._

"_I-I'm A-bou-out t-to-"_

A shrill scream echoed from the TV, waking me from the apparent dream, I shot up trying to control my erratic breathing, my heart was pounding and I could feel the blood rushing through my ears. I groaned when I felt the tightness of my pants, looking down; I saw the large telltale swell of my jeans and softly patted it, moaning at just the slight touch.

"O-oh god," I practically yelled, I got up and limped to the bathroom, this wasn't going away on its own.

Locking the door I pulled off my jeans and yanked down my boxers, a sigh left my mouth from the freedom. I gripped my cock in my hands and groaned loudly, I wouldn't have to worry about sound especially when the TV was blaring in the other room.

I moved in rhythmic time, slow at first then gaining speed, with images of my dream flying through my mind, the raven haired with the piercing sparkling, blue eyes. I yelped when my thumb pressed on the tip, feeling precum spill out slightly, I went faster, closing my eyes.

The taste of his sweaty skin.

The rosy bud, hardening in my mouth.

His tongue gliding along my cock.

The feel of him swallowing while he deep throated me.

His hand gripping me with me deep in his cavern.

I gripped myself harder and moved faster, no longer using a steady speed, I was so close.

I felt the pleasure build in my stomach, filling me to the core, closer, closer, closer, faster, faster, feeling the string snap I came; spilling white substance over my hands and the floor.

I dropped my head and let out a breath slowly, letting the desire and lust leave my body as well, I got up and cleaned myself and the bathroom and dragged my feet to my room. I sat down and tried to understand what I just did, I had jerked off to the thought of a man, someone, who, by the way is VERY straight.

I had a wet dream about a person that I just met and I liked it, this wasn't supposed to happen, _I didn't, I couldn't….him like that…no, _but I had a dream like that about him? None of this makes any sense, why would that happen, what does this mean?

I laid down, determined not to think about this and just sleep some more; that nap was worthless in my eyes, and I didn't want to have a dream like that again, but it was at the back of my mind while I was trying to sleep. I just couldn't rid the image of a black haired Adam, a sweaty, sexy Adam who sucks guys off like a pro. A fucking pro.

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**PLEASE REVIEW!**


	8. The desire to be free

**HI DARLINGS IM SO SORRY FOR BEING LATE. Well, i've been adding paragraphs everyday, NEW IDEA:) So it won't take that long now, but i truly apologize for my jerkness. By the way, if anything is mispelled i blame my labtop, it doesn't know proper english. I can put the word "The" and it will honestly try to use spell check saying how the is supposed to be "Where" or something. its ridiculous. ANYWAYS Thank you so much for sticking with me, even with my stupidness with updating:(**

**song of the chapter **

**Terrible things-Mayday Parade(:**

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**ADAM POV**

I lay on the dirt ridden floor, face down, stripped, humiliated, I could handle rape, but with an audience, it was like being trapped, what was I supposed to do at a moment like this? I felt blood and semen dripped from my hole, it was almost always this rough so I was used to the way I was handled, but in front of other people, it was mortifying, not that I had much emotions left, but this was so much different. I felt disgusting.

By now you would think that embarrassment wouldn't be very high up on my meter of emotions, it should probably be fear and terror, or at the very least anger with my father, but all I wanted to do was hid in a dark corner. Someone I had never seen before had now seen something so intimate and torturous…

Trash.

Filth.

Yet again I'm left like scum, thrown back down once my use is over.

"Hey! Kid…Are you ok?" His handcuffs jingles as he tried to get closer, I moaned in pain as I pushed myself up and ignored him, it's not like he could help anyway. I put on fresh clothes because if I walked out the door surely I would be beaten, I might even drag Derek along with me.

Damaged.

Ruined.

After I had fresh clothes on, I started searching for the key that I knew was still in my room. I limped around the room and looked under the dresser, then the bed, and then I looked in the closet and found the silver key in the corner.

After picking it up I dragged my feet back over, trying my hardest not to limp but I couldn't not do it; I felt like I had been stabbed in the anus and I'm almost positive a couple of my ribs are broken, pathetic.

The whole time I had searched he hadn't said a word, just watched me as I looked through my stuff, sadly enough I think he's only still here because the restraints without them he would have been gone a long time ago, just like his fake sympathy. He's a cop, or FBI agent, my bad, but they don't care, I've tried to call them before, they said I was lying and hung up, that was the exact moment I realized nobody would trouble themselves with teenage melodrama. I had talked to deaf ears and they had seen me with blind eyes.

Broken.

Wounded.

I trudged over so I stood over him, his eyes looked like he wanted to say so much, he opened his mouth like he was about to, but I wouldn't let that happen, I didn't need his pity, I brought this on myself for being gay. This was my problem.

"I want you to promise me something before I unlock you," I spoke bluntly before he could form the question that was surely going through his mind.

_How long had this been going on? Why? Do you even know?_

Devastated.

Hideous.

"What," he stared up at me from his knees and waited for what I was going to say. Most likely, he wouldn't suspect I would want him to keep it quiet but I do, I wonder if people beg for him to take them away, or if they just kill themselves before he has a chance to save them.

"That you'll walk away without telling anyone, and you'll never see him again, he'll only bring you down, I'm sure you have a lovely family so don't bring this on yourself like I did." I would beg if I have to, but I would not let THIS travel outside this house, this would go with me until my heart stops.

"I can't do that," he almost sounded resolved, but I would make sure he left and would carry this secret to the grave. I didn't have much longer anyway, maybe then he could take down my father.

Repulsive.

Dreadful.

"Yes, you can, I'll let you out and you're going to climb out that window right over there and go on with your life like you never knew him." I didn't want to sound like this, but this was the only way the beatings would get worse, my dad had allies and they all would vouch for him, but Derek, all he had was himself, and I would have to stay with my father with worse beatings than before. I couldn't let it happen.

Ghastly.

Atrocious.

After contemplating how to answer he finally seemed to agree, he hung his head and nodded, so I unlocked his cuffs and let him free.

Instead of leaving right away like I asked he sat on my bed looked me in the eyes and voiced his thoughts, "If I leave and never tell anyone, will you at least answer some of my questions?" his eyes smoldered with anger directed toward Eber and Mr. Chastely and sympathy.

The desire to tell someone who wouldn't say a word was too precious to let pass, if I could talk now, then my conscience would have less weight that it's been carrying since Eber murdered my mother and brother and the beatings worsened.

"Ok," I didn't see any harm in answering questions when I would never see him again so I agreed, and when he started asking, I answered as honestly as I could, the only one I refused to answer was why, there was no reason or even purpose for what had tipped him over the edge. Even I didn't want to know.

_The desire to be free._

That sounded nice.

Maybe I would have that longing someday.

Possibly.

When he left, I felt a little bit refreshed, ever since it began, I had never told a soul, and Tommy only knew about the cuts and luckily he still doesn't know the reason. If he did, I don't know what would happen, but I'm scared, terrified even, never had I involved myself so much in a persons life, I was attracted to him as a person in ways I wasn't supposed to be, and that would end bad for both of us, Eber would come for him, and he would have to go through the same thing as me. I couldn't let that happen.

_Pitiful._

**XxxTHE NEXT DAY AT SCHOOLxxx**

I had gotten to school safely without getting beaten, and other than last nights after effects I was fine. I was kind of excited to see Tommy as well which was good and bad, one I shouldn't feel like this and two he was my only friend. So it was a pro and con deal.

The day dragged on, as usual, it was the last class of the day and I was so very eager, Tommy and I had planned to spend time together after school and we weren't going to his house, I was incredibly nervous there so I had asked if I could take him somewhere.

I saw him waiting at the front of the school leaning against the wall, and when he saw me, he pushed himself from the wall and walked towards me.

"Hi Adam," He said smiling, "where to today?" I joined him to his sports car his parents bought him as a pity present, and replied smiling for real in the first time in what felt like years, "It's a surprise."

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**REVIEW. PLEASE. I BEG YOU. IT HELPS WITH MY UPDATES. ITS CALLED CONFIDENCE BOOST. Also forgot to mention earlier, I've kind of been lacking in the Adommy department, i apologize, i was trying to develop Adam and Tommy of my story, so Next couple chapters i'll try to focus on them. Thanks for reading and being faithful to the story, until next time, adieu :3**


	9. The moon's attraction to the sun

**Hey guys...Guess what? I updated super fast this time(: I was so excited for this chapter, i was still deciding what to do, whether to give you guys a treat or not, well you'll have to read to figure out;)**

**wellllll thanks for sticking with me as always my lovely's3 (any mispellings or errors i apologize my computer is a doof)**

**I won't give up- Jason Mraz (acoustic cover) by calovely**

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**TOMMY POV**

It seemed like Adam was leading me to nowhere, we turned down dirt roads and went down alleys, but I trusted him so I let him give directions. Then suddenly I stopped questioning where we were going because he told me to stop in front of possibly the most beautiful green pathway ever. It looked like something you would see in Lord of the Rings when they were in that enchanted forest, it was amazing.

That was when Adam jumped out and started walking down the trail, slightly disappointed when we wouldn't stay here, I followed.

Though my disappointment didn't last long, it was soon replaced with awe at the big field we stopped at, it was vibrant green grass with flower patches everywhere, and it was amazing.

_How did this place even exist, it felt like a movie, or a dream._

"I don't…" He paused, clearing his throat before continuing, "Remember how I found this place, but I come here when I need to think, and I wanted to show it to you…" he drifted off, and he almost had this sad air about him, but I wasn't quite sure.

"It's beautiful…" I was honestly speechless, and that was the only thing I could think of that wouldn't even remotely begin to describe this place. I felt so at peace as I followed Adam to a patch of clear grass by a small pound, wow this place is seriously fucking perfect.

I never would have thought he would have a place like this, he just seemed so dark, so moody, I never thought I would be here with him, OF ALL PEOPLE.

This just seems way too much like a date, like a place so private, so meant for a loved one, for someone more trusted. This was too romantic, though I wish I could say I was uncomfortable, or that this was kind of awkward, but I was completely content. I felt like I could sit here forever with him and just talk, and never feel that I would have to leave or even want to.

We had been sitting for a while; I had actually lain down and was drifting to sleep. I was in that haze, where your still awake but your so close to sleep you don't know if anything around you is real or fake, and that was when I heard soft humming.

It was a lullaby, the soft melody floated to my ears and I was instantly awake, breathing in the beautiful sound. _Was this Adam? No, there's no way he can sing this good, this couldn't be him._

It was a sound so sweet, so flowy, i felt like i could sing along too, and sound just as beautiful, but i know i couldn't.

When I opened my eyes, I saw Adam with distant eyes, he was softly swaying to the tune but he looked pained, it was hard to see him so disconnected to the world. I felt like I was invading a private moment of his, and that I should evade my eyes, but I couldn't.

I tried to sit up quietly, but I had ruined it when my hand slipped and hit a twig, ultimately breaking it in half and waking Adam from his daze. He snapped back to reality within seconds and looked at me with surprise filling his eyes; obviously he'd forgotten I was here.

"Uhm…sorry," I apologized half-heartedly, dropping my gaze, why was I getting so shy?

"No, don't apologize-"He paused, looking at the sunset before saying something that would change my perspective of him completely.

"Actually, I lied earlier; I do remember how I found this place, my mom-" He cleared his throat then continued, "She showed me this place when I was younger, she said it would be my safe haven, though I don't think she ever realized how tru-" He cut off then laughed dryly and dropped his head.

He sounded uncomfortable with sharing, his first attempt at it no doubt.

He had finished, but once again, I had no idea how to reply; so I decided to share a piece of myself with him too.

"My mom...always tries to make everyone feel better, by miraculously taking the weight off their shoulders, by just talking to them, and giving them her special tea, it may not be something as beautiful as this field…but its unique to her, and it's something special…." I drifted off, no sure what to say next.

"That sounds so nice…To have someone to care for you with such love and affection," I don't even think he meant for me to hear that, it was so quiet, almost a whisper, though there was no jealously emitted from his tone. That was something I usually heard when I told that story, though I wasn't completely sure why, it was just something sweet she did, and that seemed to evoke envy from others.

When I had actually thought about the words he had uttered, I started wondering what his life at home was like, what did he mean by _have someone care, did he not have anyone like that at home?_

I know it was slightly too soon for me to ask such a personal question, but I couldn't resist, I wanted to know more about him, "Hey Adam, what do you mean by have someone care?" apparently my question had made him realize he even said anything because he sucked in a breath before telling me it was nothing and not to think about it.

I was only willing to let it go easily this time because I would wait for him to tell me, wait for him to trust me enough to share, because that's what I wanted. To be trusted by him, that is.

Having not looked away from him since this awkward conversation ended, I waited for him to do something. Anything.

That was when he gently tilted his head up, so his baby blues were inches from my chocolate browns and in that moment I realized how close we were. His actions were probably only meant to look at me or even continue the ended conversation, but it came off as something else entirely.

though I knew this, and i still didn't want to back away.

His eyes held uncertainty in them as our heads pulled together like strings being tied together. Like the moon and the sun. I felt his breath brush across my skin, leaving a burning trail where ever it glided, and his hair grazed my cheek as our lips, finally met. A spark lit within me, the hairs on my neck stood on end, and my hands softly tugged at his neck, pulling him closer, deepening the kiss. Tangling my fingers in his hair, I felt electrified, and his arms wrapped around my waist, touching out chests together, moaning low I kissed harder, needing more.

I felt blood start to flow to my lower region and that was when I realized, I was kissing a guy, I was being aroused by a man, and I was getting hard because of a dick.

I liked girls, I didn't discriminate, but I liked their small waists, their soft skin, their long hair, their soft boobs, and everything else about a female that made her a woman, her lower regions intended.

Roughly, I shoved Adam away from he, yanking out of his grip, and watched as he fell backwards onto his back; I could have sworn I saw him wince, but that wasn't the problem now. The problem was I had just kissed Adam. A GUY. I. AM. STRAIGHT.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!" I didn't wait for him to answer; my anger was to uncontrollable, and I was on a role, "I'M FUCKING STRAIGHT, I LIKE FUCKING BIG TITS AND FUCKING VAGINA!" I was screaming at him, and it may not have seemed fair, but we just fucking kissed, HE HAS A DICK.

I saw the emotions swirl in his eyes, there was so much pain and sadness, but within seconds it was gone; replaced with bleak, slate gray. He no longer looked close to tears, he had just locked away all feelings from me. turned the key and broke it inside the lock.

"ANSWER ME!" I knew I still wasn't being fair, but I guess I just needed a reason myself; to maybe comprehend why I had liked that kiss so much. Maybe just to have some answers, we've only known each other for about a month and a half, so why did I have so much emotion already?

Completely BIZARRE.

"I'm s-sorry," Although his face was blank, his feelings were coming out through his speech, so i could tell he was nowhere near calm and collected. "I-I'm s-s-so Sorry…" He hung his head in shame and I swear I saw a tear drop from his eyes, but I was too far gone to even think of his feelings. I should have been the one ashamed, I was yelling at him for something that was both our faults.

"Fuck you Adam, fuck you. " I got up, not even waiting for him to chase after me like i expected him too, i was his ride after all, and left him sitting in the beautiful meadow, that would now remind him of a horrid memory, of our fight, probably leave him a mess, or not.

I didn't care, that kiss hadn't shaken me, I didn't care.

_I still liked tits._

_I am straight._

_I am straight._

_I am straight._

I kept repeating those words as I hoped into the car and speed away, leaving pain and misery in my wake, and throwing away my desperation, that so honestly desire Adam.

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**I'M SORRY! I'm horribly evil arent I? Heh heh heh. Well REVIEW PLEASE AND THANK YOU. I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IT. Until next time, adieu(:**


	10. Brass that never seemed strong enough

**HI GUYS! Ohhh my haven't you missed my lovely self? Only because I am hopefully writing your favorite story! Well In case you haven't noticed it's finally November! aren't you excited? all these new chapters! well I was a jerk with the last chapter and I made you wait such a long time! I wouldn't doubt that you guys are mad at me! Haha I hope this chapter was good enough for such a long wait! I will warn you, i felt some tears fall as i wrote this! So I won't lie, its not a very happy chapter, hopefully a good one! But yenno, that's up to you! Well I will let you read the chapter! because I'm sure you don't want to listen to me ramble! Haha ok! hope you like:)**

**No song for this chapter though the lyrics at the end are from the song casimir pulaski day- Sufjan Stevens (I wouldn't listen to it while you read this though, its about cancer, but the cords make it almost sound happy...so it might ruin the mood i have set up..) I only thought the lyrics matched...so onward into the chapter!**

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**ADAM POV**

What in the actual _fuck_ just happened? We went from having a breakthrough in our friendship…almost...to kissing…to _not_? Now he hates me because he found out I am a _faggot_, just fucking great, because I couldn't control myself…he _hates_ me.

I sat, completely miserable, in the once beautiful meadow, with the wind whirling around me. I saw the early stages of a storm beginning to form and I could have been figuring out how I would've gotten home, though I just _couldn't_. My thoughts were solely focused on Tommy, his laugh, his smile, his body, his eyes, his hair, his personality, his _lips, _and anything else I could possibly think of.

The leaves thrashed around me, whistling through the wind like knives flying through the air. I felt my back hit the ground as I let gravity take me, why did this have to happen, my only friend now hated me because of me liking the same sex? Because I'm a faggot, because I couldn't control my inhuman desires?

_Why am I such a monster?_

I looked over at my phone, and I felt terror seize my heart, squeezing it in a death grip, 1 miss call blinked brightly on the dim lit screen of my flip up. My father was demanding me home; I was already in trouble, so what reason would I have to leave when I would get beaten whether I left now or in 10 minutes.

I lay unmoving, in the windy meadow, drinking in the colors before they were washed out by the rain, thrown around by the winds, and done away by the storm. My thoughts would drown when the first drops hit, I hoped I would drown, but I couldn't…I made a promise to keep living, though that only meant not to end my own life, I would gladly die of _natural _causes.

My eyebrows pinched together in pain as I stood up from the soft grass and began limping along the path that led to the street. I would end up walking home, that was for sure, Tommy would never stay after something like that happened to him, I mean he told me himself. He liked women.

After having no friends for years, it seems odd now that I was actually expecting to see Tommy pull up from behind asking if I wanted a ride back or not, though that would never happen now, I broke off what little trust we had together by burning it to the ground by liking _dicks_.

Being this upset by having lost a friend, is strange, in my opinion.

I was not even half way and I could already feel my legs shaking, weak from past beatings and I wasn't sure how long they would hold under my tall stature. I could either rest, and wait till morning or I could push on. If only giving up actually sounded appeasing in my eyes, giving up always sounded pointless, why give up when you haven't even made it till the end? So push on I did.

After a couple of hours I was actually in front of my house, I was trembling violently from the cold, wet rain that fell, like tears, from the dark sky.

I was so close.

I honestly didn't like the idea of being this close.

I would rather go the other direction.

I hate this place.

Upon reaching my house, I felt tremors rack down my body harder, shaking my entire being; I pushed open the creaking front door and stumbled up the first steps, slowly limping into the dark, silent place.

I was about half way up the stairs and so close to being home free, _so close. _

I felt rough hands grip my soaking wet shirt and yank me backwards down the stairs head first, letting my skull crack on each and every rotting step along the way down. "Hello son, nice of you to come home on time!" his fist crunched into my nose, I felt it break, blood gushed from my nostrils pouring down my face. His beefy hands wrapped around my neck as he flung me against the wall table, the glass shattered around me as the legs of the table gave way, toppling to the ground letting shards of glass enter my abused body.

A screech left my lips as his thick foot smashed down upon my shin, feeling a bone break for the second time today; I curled in on myself as I let a dry sob escape my throat. Laughter erupted from his chest as he continuously beat me mercilessly.

"Why" punch "where" punch "you" punch "home" kick "so" shove "late?" punch. I hacked up blood, trying to fill my lungs with air, "Where you shacking up with your boyfriend again? You stupid _faggot" _It was like my body was rejecting oxygen as I gasped, taking in as much that would come. I crawled away slowly, trying so hard to get away from the one thing that would most likely be the end of my life.

Things never used to be this way. It was never _this bad_.

Black danced along the edges of my vision as he held my to the wall with his arm on my neck, cutting off the little air supply I was getting.

_Her long auburn hair swayed as she stumbled around gathering her things, "Mom, please, hurry!" the orange haired boy begged "I don't know when he'll be here!" _

_A bang from the front room signaled that he was home, and that their worst nightmares were coming true. The two shook with horror as boots grated the floors; the mother stuffed her son's things in the bathroom and pushed her son along with them. _

"_Adam," she said "I want you to stay in here, and DON'T, under any circumstance, come out, do you understand me?" the young boy stood wide eyed as his mother terrified him, he slowly nodded. She bent down and hugged him hard, breathing him in, wrapping her arms tightly around her son as a sob escaped her throat. She pulled away and kissed him hard on the forehead, they stared at each other for a long time before she decided on something._

_She reached around and unhooked the necklace she wore every single day, it was silver interlocking vines that curved to peculiar shape, she always believed it was a charm to protect her loved ones, and she put it in her son's hands. "I want you to keep this Adam, it will always protect you. I love you…so much, baby, I want you to NEVER forget that, you hear me?"_

"_Mamma, I love you too, mamma what are you going to do? Don't leave me, I'm scared…" She looked down almost ashamed before she smiled sadly and answered, "I know baby, but remember to hold onto this necklace, it will protect you…and something I shouldn't done a long time ago honey, now lock this door as soon as I shut it, see you next time" then she shut the door, and turned the lock to make sure the boy had locked it. He did as told. _

_The boy never once believed he would see her again, what his mother meant, was a goodbye, and neither of them was strong enough to utter the words._

_He ran to the corner of the bathroom and held the necklace close to his heart and let tears pour from his eyes, for he, even at such a young age, knew what his mother would do. The sound of wood breaking entered his ears, surely the door to his mother's room would have held longer, but alas, the brass was not as strong as his father. His booming voice echoed in the bathroom as did his mother's screams, the boy shivered as he curled in on himself, wanting nothing more than to disappear._

"_Where is he?" The demand was curt though held as much emotion as a speech, "He is nowhere, and I will not let you get to another one of my children, go rot in hell you psychopathic bastard!" The mother yelled as sounds of skin on skin reached the bathroom, an ear splitting scream did too at the same moment. _

_After a minute or so, violent laughter and sounds of something being dragged across the floor entered the bathroom as well, the last the boy heard was boots stomping down the stairs, dragging something along with it. Then everything was silent, and still; the boy cried silently, hugging the necklace dear, and huddled even closer to the corner of the closet inside the bathroom hiding behind one of his mother's dresses. _

My eyes snapped open as the memory resurfaced, my breathing seized and my whole body shut down, though I still felt his fist pounding into my body, I could no longer comprehend what was happening. When I refocused again nobody was in sight, I was lying in a puddle of my own blood, and the dark liquid still seeped from my limbs. I was currently trying to evaluate what I could move, and what was beyond help, though I don't think I got very much to move.

My leg was, not by any circumstance, going _anywhere_, that was broken completely. My nose was broken but that would just be sore for a while, so I moved on, I had shards of glass still lodged in my arms, legs, and chest, though nothing was as deep as the one currently sticking out of my left bicep. The small table was still on top of my chest so that would mean I would have to push it off, something that did not sound like any fun.

I laid there for several more minutes before I finally pushed the table off of me, crying out in pain as I felt the edges of broken wood slice through the skin of my stomach. I pulled myself up into a standing position, though only leaning on my right leg, the left was done for. Labored breath left my lips as I felt every inch of my body ach and squeeze with pain as I pulled myself, step by step, up the stairs. Each movement oozed out more scarlet liquid, I watched from behind as it slushed down the wooden floor boards swirling together when it dripped off the first step. Wincing at how much I saw, I pushed myself into the room that I call mine and found the bandages, the edges of my vision were getting blurry and I was swaying on my feet, this had to be quick.

I didn't even clean them, I just had to wrap them quickly or I would bleed out, maybe I should just let go, dying would be perfect, why fight it, then an image of the blond, laughing male flashed in my mind, Tommy, he hated me…So why would he care if I died, but alas, I still wanted to see that smiling face, even if the laugh wasn't directed at myself.

I broke off the edge of my side table to wrap with my leg with as a make shift brace; the table was about the size of my shin so it would work, hopefully. I took a deep breath before wrapping the brace tightly around my broken bone, clenching my hands a few times in the process. Agony ripped through my very core, even the little twitches would cause a torturous howl to erupt from my lips.

I tore out the shards that had lodged themselves into my skin and wrapped those as well, cleaning only the deepest wounds, and rushing to finish the rest.

When the wrapping ceased I could have been a full body cast, I wobbled over to the bed, leaning onto it to catch my breath, I wheezed as I let my body drop into the hard mattress, cringing at the squishing sound that came from some of the bandages. Black danced along my vision as my eyes drooped, letting me know that sleep would soon take over, whether I would wake up or not…would be a surprise left for when it happens.

_All the glory when he took our place._

_But he took my shoulders and he shook my face._

_And he takes and he takes and he takes._

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**Wasn't that just heart breaking? I know:) You should rant about it in the REVIEWS! I would love to hear your opinions! might as well rant now..I have a few more "evil" chapters in mind for the future! Just to let you guys know! well PLEASE REVIEW! and thanks for sticking around!**_  
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**Until next time, adieu.**


	11. A familiar face and the loud heartbeat

**HI GUYS! I'm back for the next addition of...drum roll...Definitely not pride!:) well I hope you like this chapter! I hope I didn't take too long! Gosh...ok..haha i have nothing to say here...ENJOY:)**

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**TOMMY POV**

Sunlight glared evilly through the dark curtains; each ray piercing my eyelids and striking my eyes with incredible brightness. I squinted as I picked my head up from the pillow and looked over at the clock that hung from the black wall. 9:00am flashed brilliantly at a steady pace, the numbers seemed to jump out at me, though I didn't understand them. I was disoriented at the minimum; my thoughts were clouded from sleep, and my limbs still stiff from the position I feel asleep in.

That's when the realization hit me, I _kissed_ Adam, then I screamed at him for doing it; though _I_ was the one that closed the distance, and I left him in a meadow about 25 miles from the school, I wasn't sure how far he lived from there because I didn't know where he lived but it couldn't have been far to still go to that school.

Meaning he had to walk home, feeling such guilt because I was an idiot, because I couldn't keep my anger in check for once. The only problem with that was…I didn't hate the kiss…I just couldn't take it; I couldn't understand why I enjoyed something given to me by a male. I wasn't gay, though I liked such a thing. A burning hole in my chest made its way to the front of my attention as I stood and gathered my thoughts completely; the fire licked at my heart and singed the core. The guilt was eating me, if I had never done that, if I had never yelled at him for doing something I didn't disagree with, if only I had just pushed him away and told him I didn't like it, or even not now. _But no_, I offended his whole nature, his _whole being_ by saying what I did.

I shuffled to the kitchen and walked straight into the wonderful smell of eggs and bacon cooking on the stove, smiling softly I walked up behind my mother and hugged her gently before retreating to the table, grabbing a plate and silverware on the way. She placed her "special tea" on the table next to my hand and winked at me before continuing her cooking with a smile. My bad mood was gone and I instantly thought of my resolve that I just developed, find Adams address, go to his house, and apologize, voila we are good friends again.

Breakfast was placed on the table and I dug into the meal with a new appreciation for mothers, it was always when you were feeling down that they would decide to make some food or do something that always makes it better, be it dinner or lunch or even a snack, and they would snap you right out of it. After I finished, I put my plate away and sprinted up to my room and threw random clothes on my bed, black skinny jeans, creepers, and a sleeveless band-T.

I pushed my phone into my pocket and grabbed the yellow book that was hidden away in our kitchen, looking for the last name Lambert that was in the school area. There were two names, I wrote down both addresses and hoped into my car, searching up the best way to get to the first one, Alliah Lambert, hopefully first times a charm. I pulled up to this really nice looking house, the bushes trimmed perfectly square and the lawn was vibrant green, I hoped this was his house for two distinct reasons, one: I wouldn't have to make another trip, and two: I hoped he lived in a place as nice as this.

I walked up to the door and timidly knocked and waited, I heard a muffled voice that said coming and silently prayed this was the right house. A woman that had an aura of happiness opened the door and smiled kindly at me, her tired face had laugh lines and her graying hair was pulled up into a bun, she wore a yellow apron, and over all looked like a caring person.

"Hello, I don't believe we've met, do you need something?" Her bell like voice was clear and confident sounding.  
"Hi um, actually I think I might be here for someone, does anyone by the name of Adam live here with you?" Compared to her I sounded like I lived in a shell. Great. Just great.  
"Oh, no sorry honey, just me and john smith, my cat," my shoulders went slack before I regained my former confidence and smiled before answering, "Oh…Ok thank you anyways…" my smile faded as soon as I turned around .

I felt a hand grab my shoulder and turned to face a very determined lady, "Oh, I'm sorry I can't help, but stay right here!" she rushed inside and left me standing outside for barley a minute before she returned with a basket.

"I know this is really odd, but these old bones think you need something like this, your pain is coming out like steam with burning water." she then handed him a basket filled with 10 cookies and a cut off rose top in the middle, confused he stared at her and waited for her to continue, "Like I said, I can feel your pain, it's almost oozing out of you, when you apologize to him, make sure to give him this, it works like a charm, bye now," She dropped a wink before closing her door slowly, leaving a very muddled Tommy.

What just happened, a crazy old bat gave me a basket of, I felt one of the cookies, freshly baked cookies and a flower to apologize, how did she even know, to someone I wanted to keep dear?

I walked away slowly and stared at one of the windows, not surprised that I saw a psychic sign resting on the ledge. I could have doubled over in laughter, I felt something bubble up and I let a fit of giggles free before I hoped back into my car and drove to the next house. This stop wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I placed the basket in the passenger seat and turned on the GPS and found the route to the other house, hopefully this one is correct.

The street I pulled into was cracked and dirtied, trash was scattered around the roads, and it looked like a ghost town, literally, but with cars. I stopped at the house with the address and was instantly repulsed, was this were Adam lived, this is a terrible home, most of the windows have gray tape over them, one of them is boarded up, if there wasn't a car parked in the drive way I would have assumed nobody lived there.

I reluctantly left the safety of my car and locked and set the alarm, there was no way I'm letting my car get stolen in a place like this. I trudged forward and knocked hesitantly on the door and waited, but there wasn't a sound. I nudged the door with my foot and watched as it slowly inched forward, horrified for mere seconds I tip toed inside quietly, wincing everytime I heard the floor boards creak. I saw an old man passed out of the couch with a beer bottle in his hand, my vision trailed lower and I gagged; I saw dark scarlet dried to the bottom. Blood rushed to my head, was that…_what I thought it was? _ I prayed it wasn't blood.

Just looking at the man, crusty beard, salt and pepper hair, and a dirty white wife beater with torn jeans, made me want to run screaming for the hills. My heart thumped loudly in my ears and I was close to bolting, this was trespassing, what if he woke up, I wouldn't be surprised if he chased me out of the house with a broom…Or even a knife. He just looks dangerous, though I could see Adam in his face, I prayed, for the second time, that I was wrong.

I tip toed forward, up the creaking steps and checked the first door I saw, coming up empty, I paced a little faster and looked through three more doors until I found a male lying face down on the bed. My heart almost burst when I saw familiar orange hair and long body, but there was one thing that made me do a double take, there was bandages stretching around him like a body cast, but they were clumsily wrapped, and were in need of a change. Red flowers blossomed in many places below the dirty white bandage; I heard a low whimper as I staggered closer.

The edge of my vision was unfocused as I got closer to the heap on the bed my knees felt weak, I softly touched the figure on his shoulder and gently pulled him over. I lost all balance, Adams face looked back at me with black and blue splotches covering his beautiful face. Purple hands wrapped around his neck tightly and blood crusted the side of his face. My butt hit the floor and my vision left me, my hand was stuck to my open mouth, muffling the scream that threatened to burst through my lips.

_What is going on?!_

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**GASP DID SHE REALLY JUST END IT THERE? Why yes, yes i did, now rant about it in the reviews! PLEASE REVIEW! It makes me write faster:3 - desperation...but seriously REVIEW...or else...I won't make as awesome chapters!..I'm threatening now..it's gotten seriously...lol...OK WELL UNTIL NEXT TIME! Adieu!**_  
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